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Up to last night, everything was going well. I then got a phone call in the mid-evening, with regards to my planned surgery for next week. I tried to make it all as pleasant as possible, but it got down to several things of concern – being more than one hour away from the hospital (for the journey home – overlooking the fact that it was meant to be a minor procedure), also problems with breathing, and BMI. The latter I can’t do a lot about in seven days, but it’s irrelevant without the rest. I felt bad, as basically, after 11 months of pushing and trying and surviving, it was hanging by a thread.

So, today, I call the person who was doing the admission, and we discuss this. He explains that the person who was meant to be doing my phone call (pre-op assessment) last night did not, and she left it to someone else. He promised to discuss it with the ward sister, and call me back by early afternoon. Half four, and I called him to be told that they aren’t going to have me – because of “Acute asthma and BMI” – acute asthma is a bit of a misnomer, as I’ve only had two shortages of breath in my adult life…

… Now, truly back to the beginning. 11 months of fighting and hassle, all for nothing. Back to where I began, with a common thread running through this. I’m not wanted wherever I end up.