I'm A Failure :-(
Jan. 1st, 2007 11:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suzyscottdotcomYesterday, I knew that my head was feeling a little mixed up. Perhaps this was to be expected, I guess. It wasn't until this morning that I realised, and said it to myself out loud - I am a failure.
Think back to Saturday 30th September, when I broke down at work. Even in the weeks that followed, I couldn't put a precise reason on why all that happened. The truth is, I failed on that day, and I failed since. Yes, I got over my disappointment then, and I thought I'd done well in November and December, with all that I achieved, and those that I met.
This morning, I realised that the last two months have been covering up for my subconscious feelings. I've failed. I'm a failure. This is how I felt last week. I had that feeling in the back of my mind, all the way along. I've not had that much in the way of experience in relationships, and this may well be how things are.
I now feel as if the last few months have been a failure by myself to everyone. I've ended up with no one to talk to. I thought my mother & family were failing me, but now I think I've failed them too. I feel as if I've failed everyone that thought or cared for me last year, and in recent times.
I'm sorry if I've failed you too.
Think back to Saturday 30th September, when I broke down at work. Even in the weeks that followed, I couldn't put a precise reason on why all that happened. The truth is, I failed on that day, and I failed since. Yes, I got over my disappointment then, and I thought I'd done well in November and December, with all that I achieved, and those that I met.
This morning, I realised that the last two months have been covering up for my subconscious feelings. I've failed. I'm a failure. This is how I felt last week. I had that feeling in the back of my mind, all the way along. I've not had that much in the way of experience in relationships, and this may well be how things are.
I now feel as if the last few months have been a failure by myself to everyone. I've ended up with no one to talk to. I thought my mother & family were failing me, but now I think I've failed them too. I feel as if I've failed everyone that thought or cared for me last year, and in recent times.
I'm sorry if I've failed you too.
