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We were out in Cambridge today, stopping at a booksale before continuing to the retail park, then had lunch at Pizza Hut in the Chav-Plex (Cambridge Leisure) The reason was, I’d shown C the trailer for Three And Out, which we both liked the look of. We went to the 1320 Saturday screening, and only FOUR people were there – including us!

The website gives basics of the plot, but it’s right – it is about a London Underground tube train driver, or Train Operator as LUL would call them these days. One of the trade unions decided that they did not like this movie, and that was before they’d seen it.

Firstly, the driver is seen driving a Jubilee Line train into Charing Cross, on the section of route which has been disbanded since the JLE. The train was seen with a large crowd waiting, and his train pulls into CX. A passenger’s dog starts going after the rodents, passenger on track… and does not end up in the suicide pit, and gets killed. That was the first. Cut to a shot of a LUL drivers canteen and mess room (public leaflets and publicity are shown inside, but nothing internal from LU i.e. working timetables or duty rosters, and two friends ribbing him about the occasion. One resembled one of the guys who was in my training group back in the day, but I’m sure it couldn’t be… could it?

He is then seen in civvies, changing trains at Green Park onto a Jubilee Line train (defeating the above!) and travelling towards London Bridge, where he alights for his flat/room.

Once he returns to duty, he is seen on the Northern Line – another abnormality that wouldn’t happen in the real world – but don’t worry, I’m not going to be picking holes all the way through! He pulls in at East Finchley (above ground) where a passenger has a bad turn, and ends up under the train. That was number 2, cut back to the staff room where his colleagues start going on about the ‘unwritten rule’ (three killings in a month, paid off for life with a 10 year equivalent salary lump sum). As an aspiring writer with visions on a croft on an island in Scotland, he’s thinking about it. One other bit of useless trivia was a mouse in a cadge was named Mousewood Scrubs –  Wormwood S. is in west London.

So, he starts trying to find someone who wants to die, including someone who wants him to eat him alive, starting with his penis. After that, he ultimately falls upon an Irishman who wants to throw himself off the bridge at Holborn.

He agrees to the money, and wants to go back to his roots for a bit of reminiscing and apologising to his ex-wife and daughter. Things start turning in numerous ways, and there are many hilarious moments throughout the movie, before it turns serious, and ends… well, you’ll have to see it to find out! Do go and see. If you like the tube stuff, you’ll fit in well. If you don’t, don’t worry, you still have about 70% of the movie without it. Well recommended.

After that, back to Royston (some shopping may have tired us out!), and I prepared dinner using a recipe picked up during the week. Did I mention it was 23 DEGREES at the warmest part of the day?

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