Looking back, and forward
May. 3rd, 2008 11:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suzyscottdotcomIt’s a wonderful day here in Royston – if a little windy. I forgot to mention yesterday that I was able to get my prescription for the 10mg Citalopram, and started off them last night.
I also forgot to mention (given that I was shattered on the day in question) that 30th April was our 13 month anniversary, and C had to point it out to me that evening. I still count these things, but once it’s over a year, the time seems to fly by even faster.
I’ve been thinking quite a bit over the last day and a bit. It’s kind of like a repeat of how things were in 2001-2 in my life now. Then, I finished a job I’d enjoyed (aside from the management), ended up in hospital, got suicidal, new year, anti-depressants, spring and summer has some good times and some bad times. Then, in the autumn, things got really good really quickly, and I was able to build on stability in preparing to transition (which then happened in 2004). This time around, it’s almost the same, except I wasn’t suicidal. The hospital visit (this time) was very much pre-planned, and there was a positive outcome to it (rather than me getting out worse because no reason for it was found, so blame it on stress etc.) So where am I going with this? It’s because while things at the moment include some things that have to be done (i.e. moving out of my flat in Dundee, C losing weight, surgery and the rest), the really good times will (hopefully!) be coming later in the year. I can wait, calm and try and avoid stressing too much over the coming weeks. We’ve got a fair bit planned for this month, and we shall see how things pan out.
There is also my new location. Having been around the area for a bit now, it’s a large kind of step change, a bit like when I moved to London in 1999. Lots of new people and friends to see, lots of new shops, new areas and places to discover. As regular readers know, I’d like stability in my life, but I also like to do what I can, while I can. Regulars also know that I don’t just sugar-coat problems, or pretend that they do not exist, but I am genuinely happy with life at the moment. OK I’m tired or upset on occasions, and that isn’t going to pull me down too much. I want to enjoy the good times too. While they come intermittently at the moment, I am confident that I can build on things over the coming weeks and months, really settle down with C, support the conclusion of her transition, and then be there together for whatever next year throws at us. Things will straighten out, and I am looking forward to it already.
I also forgot to mention (given that I was shattered on the day in question) that 30th April was our 13 month anniversary, and C had to point it out to me that evening. I still count these things, but once it’s over a year, the time seems to fly by even faster.
I’ve been thinking quite a bit over the last day and a bit. It’s kind of like a repeat of how things were in 2001-2 in my life now. Then, I finished a job I’d enjoyed (aside from the management), ended up in hospital, got suicidal, new year, anti-depressants, spring and summer has some good times and some bad times. Then, in the autumn, things got really good really quickly, and I was able to build on stability in preparing to transition (which then happened in 2004). This time around, it’s almost the same, except I wasn’t suicidal. The hospital visit (this time) was very much pre-planned, and there was a positive outcome to it (rather than me getting out worse because no reason for it was found, so blame it on stress etc.) So where am I going with this? It’s because while things at the moment include some things that have to be done (i.e. moving out of my flat in Dundee, C losing weight, surgery and the rest), the really good times will (hopefully!) be coming later in the year. I can wait, calm and try and avoid stressing too much over the coming weeks. We’ve got a fair bit planned for this month, and we shall see how things pan out.
There is also my new location. Having been around the area for a bit now, it’s a large kind of step change, a bit like when I moved to London in 1999. Lots of new people and friends to see, lots of new shops, new areas and places to discover. As regular readers know, I’d like stability in my life, but I also like to do what I can, while I can. Regulars also know that I don’t just sugar-coat problems, or pretend that they do not exist, but I am genuinely happy with life at the moment. OK I’m tired or upset on occasions, and that isn’t going to pull me down too much. I want to enjoy the good times too. While they come intermittently at the moment, I am confident that I can build on things over the coming weeks and months, really settle down with C, support the conclusion of her transition, and then be there together for whatever next year throws at us. Things will straighten out, and I am looking forward to it already.
