What’s been on my mind in the last month or so

[suzyscottdotcom]

So, I said (some time ago) I would try to compare my mobile phones. The old one has gone for recycling, and there are a few things hat I’ve noticed. Some things are easier to type than others, but in standard text entry mode, you have to press the “1” seventeen times for a 1 numeral! At the same time, to get a zero, you don’t press 0, you press 1 – eighteen times… It does seem to get commented for the slimness of the thing, and to be honest it has been in the front pocket of my handbag several times, and I’ve not noticed it was there, and gone rummaging for it!

Tomorrow is the first day of my new shift. Until mid-January 2007, I had been working the same shift for a year and a half – 1300-2200 Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday (34 hours a week). At that time, I changed to 1500-2300 Monday to Friday inclusive, which is 37.5 hours a week. From tomorrow, I am working 1300-2300 Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and 1330-2300 on Thursdays. This still earns me the same number of hours pay, gets me one or two extra breaks, and saves me at least £1.90 per week on bus fares! The main purpose behind the change (of course!) is to give me a three-day weekend, and allow me to spend a bit more time with Caroline.

Currently (thanks to Transport Direct once more) we are 426.2 miles apart, based on driving between home postcodes (travelling via London or Stevenage, as I do most times, will add mileage).. The plan is to travel south during the day on the Friday, arriving in the evening, spend the weekend down south, and travel back on the Sunday night. This splits things quite well, and means I only have one night sleeping on the bus per week. Back in 1999 I was doing two overnights a week – Friday night and Sunday night. The journey time on the Friday is kind of similar to what I could do on a bus anyway i.e. travel around the whole day, so from that point off view, it should be ok. The Sunday night trip back should get me into Dundee for 0900 or 1035 (depending on service) and I start work at 1300, so more than enough time to get freshened up, coffee, and the rest. It may well seem almost robotic for the next few weeks, but it does mean we should never be more than a few days from seeing each other – and that’s a good thing.

I’ve met a lot of people down south in the last few weeks, most of you for the first time in the flesh. Some of you couldn’t believe I travelled so far, but then remembered why. Was it Eddie Murphy who once said “No journey is too great, when one finds what (s)he seeks?” Caroline described the last fortnight of my holiday as “intensive”, and it’s quite right – the “different things every day” concept has worked well in the past for me.

So how do I feel right now? Wonderfully happy, most of the time. I’ve hinted here that I have often been deep in thought about so many different things. It is wonderful to be I love, but also to be loved. We are both treating each other as equals, which I appreciate. You may well think I am biased, but Caroline is a wonderful person. Wonderful enough to travel at least 900 miles a week for? Damn right!

A few of you have asked for my thoughts on forthcoming surgery (and no, I’ve not got a date yet, but will post it here as soon as I do!) First of all, I will speak from my own point of view, as the prospective patient. I don’t fear death (for some reason). I don’t fear pain. I’ve recently been a bit more squeamish, but that comes and goes (hormones, probably). From what all the post-ops have told me, “it doesn’t hurt”. The main thing they seem to be upset about is the disruption to their life for a few weeks and months, especially being in hospital for nine days. Everyone (including the one person who doesn’t like the techniques used) likes the work they’ve ended up with. Scour some of the blogs and journals, and you can see very quickly a very high satisfaction rate. Some have had some of the best sexual experiences of their lives, before they even get back to work! Please remember YMMV – your mileage may vary – but if the majority are happy, I think I have little to fear. I’ve witnessed first hand how wellzoeimogen andreiko_j have been looked after in the hospital, and I don’t think there will be any problems there either.

Do you think, maybe, I don’t fully appreciate the significance of some of this stuff?

I don’t. It’s hugely important, but I don’t like getting worked up about trivial little things. He used to do that. I don’t. I’ve seen others getting worked up about everything, and I prefer to live life (as far as I can) in comfort and serenity. OK (see last Friday as an example) it doesn’t always work out.

The few weeks pre-surgery in coming off the hormones may be the scariest bits. I guess it depends the effect to which the hormones have had on your body. They’ve helped me to remain calm in many circumstances where otherwise, I cold have easily flown off the handle, or worse. That is the estrogen, which I have been on the longest (and continually). You will see what I’ve done with the others in this year’s earlier blog posts. Coming off the Androcur (cyperetone acetate) did really open my eyes to what it was doing to my head. That one is absorbed by the brain quite well/badly (depending on your point of view). I have been getting weirdly scary dreams of late, but they seem to come and go. Otherwise, while I am conscious and awake, I am fine. I can sometimes get a bit tearful if tired, but that’s to be expected (another aspect of ‘young me’ that I’d repressed for so long). I had been told in the past not to show my emotions – I was practically brought up not to have feelings.

Going back to surgery, and the most important thing to remember is that those arrangements (no hormones) will only be for six-seven weeks. That is easier to say than do, I know. But then, your world changes completely, and irreversibly. I don’t see any grounds for regret, as (1) it’s something that shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and (2) it’s never worked right most of the time anyway. Incidentally, my previous urological issues haven’t been a problem for quite a while now, and hopefully it will stay that way. I was told that starting estrogen could have an effect on the control – and guess what, it did! (If I’d known that would have the same effect that it did, I may well have gone self-medding, but that’s another story, and we cannot go back in time!)

On a semi-related issue, most of you know I have issues with some artificial sweeteners, and this is something I have been discussing with thebustocrookes a bit lately. The one in Diet Coke will give me cramps, and make me ill. The ones in Pepsi Max, Tesco Diet Lemonade, and Schweppes Diet Lemonade, all appear to be ok. I used to drink Cherry Coke, which did not have any artificial sweeteners listed on he ingredients, but did make me violently ill on a couple of occasions (including my 30^th March trip down south). Have they changed the recipe, was it a bad batch, has anyone else had this? I’ve avoided Cherry Coke throughout April as a result – plain “fat” Coke appeared to be ok. Most of the calories taken on by women come in drinks, so I need to fin a way to cut down, without making myself ill in doing so.

On another semi related note, congratulations all round to thebustocrookes who is about to get married, and of course, Adam Hobson, who has the lovely Freya moving in with him to Carnoustie this weekend. Good luck and best wishes to the four of you.

Finally, social networking sites i.e. Bebo, Myspace etc. have now apparently overtaken porn in terms of the most site traffic volume – in the UK, but not in America… wonder who counts these things? Give it time…

OK, those are all the things that are going on in my head right now – think that’s me up to date, for the first time in ages! Blogger appears to be really bad for formatting, so until further notice (i.e. unless anything changes) I will be putting everything on Livejournal only. The blogroll from the old one is too long for me to put into Livejournal, although I shall need to find some way of doing so.

Comments

[zoeimogen.livejournal.com]

A few of you have asked for my thoughts on forthcoming surgery (and no, I’ve not got a date yet, but will post it here as soon as I do!) First of all, I will speak from my own point of view, as the prospective patient. I don’t fear death (for some reason). I don’t fear pain. I’ve recently been a bit more squeamish, but that comes and goes (hormones, probably). From what all the post-ops have told me, “it doesn’t hurt”. The main thing they seem to be upset about is the disruption to their life for a few weeks and months, especially being in hospital for nine days. Everyone (including the one person who doesn’t like the techniques used) likes the work they’ve ended up with. Scour some of the blogs and journals, and you can see very quickly a very high satisfaction rate. Some have had some of the best sexual experiences of their lives, before they even get back to work! Please remember YMMV – your mileage may vary – but if the majority are happy, I think I have little to fear. I’ve witnessed first hand how well zoeimogen and reiko_j have been looked after in the hospital, and I don’t think there will be any problems there either.

I can certainly say that the quality of care in the hospital is excellent - after the first night, which is going to be pretty shit after any surgery, I was never in any pain for more than a second or two. (I'm sure there was some pain at some point when I was prodded or something, although I can't remember specifics - most of the time even being prodded didn't hurt, it was just weird)

I did have some trouble that I didn't talk about much on LJ (Hence the phone call from Liz while you were there) but once you're on the bed and you know you've got the nurses constantly checking, with Mr.Thomas himself just a phone call away, I found it hard to really get bothered by it.

Afterwards it's just frustrating. You want to get back into life etc, but your body won't let you.

As for the result... well, I don't know for sure that all the wiring works as intended yet but certainly no complaints whatsoever so far! :-)

[suzyscottdotcom.livejournal.com]

I did have some trouble that I didn't talk about much on LJ (Hence the phone call from Liz while you were there)...

I remember, and I presume that all cleared itself up?


Afterwards it's just frustrating. You want to get back into life ec, but your body won't let you.

I can see myself getting "itchy feet" when my time comes around :)

[zoeimogen.livejournal.com]

I remember, and I presume that all cleared itself up?

It did, although I got sent home with some iron tablets to be on the safe side.

[suzyscottdotcom.livejournal.com]

cool :)