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Travelled overnight by coach, and thought I’d made it back home. Well, I’d made it to the door anyway, to find the keys did not work! To cut a long story short, the locks had been changed by two sheriff officers, who had inadvertently forced the locks on Flats 3 & 4, when they were supposed to be repossessing Flats 1 & 2, with the pub downstairs! So, after four and a half hours wait for the keys (and being stood around on the road all day, although C did mange to get her brother Gordon around to stand around for me, to allow me a quick food and loo break!), I finally got them, complete with a “sorry for the inconvenience”. Not happy at all by the way it was handled – of course, it’s technically breaking & entering, as their warrant was not legally valid.  No wonder the lock wouldn’t work… old ones nearest the top of the step.

Anyway, had to put this on a page of it's own, as it is distracting from the rest of the good times that week!

I was slightly taken aback this morning to receive a card from my mother. Nothing unusual in that, but my father was taken into Ninewells Hospital on Tuesday to have a PEG tube put in.

In my non-qualified opinion, I wasn’t expecting that kind of thing for a few years, at least.

He’s back at the care home, and fine otherwise.

Remember I mentioned a while ago that the Duphaston I take is being discontinued? Well, I went to see the doc on Monday about a replacement, and he left me a prescription for something that made me depressed before i.e. Provera. So, I went back yesterday to ask about alternatives, and I will come to that again later. I am now also back on the Telfast (Fexofend-whatever) that I was on before (strong anti-histimine) as the over-the-counter ones from Tesco aren’t working anywhere near what I need, and wearing off already!

So, after we’d been to the doc yesterday, we went out for a drive around Essex, stopped at Great Dunmow for lunch at Musketeers – here’s Caroline…


We then continued to Braintree Freeport and met up with C’s friend Kim for coffee and some quick shopping (C’s has replaced the teapot with TWO new ones!) and then back to Royston.

Today, I’m going out soon to Skegness until Sunday, and on Monday I will probably be heading north, to see about a replacement for the pills. Keep watching!

... we left Farnell at 1100, and got back a little while ago. Will write it all up over the coming days.

We've just finished breakfast, and are about to drive north up the M6.

I will get round to doing the diary entry for the last few days soon - in the meantime, my photo skip has been updated.

A twist in the plan means I'm going back to Royston tomorrow by coach from Dundee. The plans for the weekend changed when C's sister-in-law took ill, and as a result, C isn't coming up, I'm going back down... and things now fit into place.

Thanks to everyone for everything so far!  

It’s a wonderful day here in Royston – if a little windy. I forgot to mention yesterday that I was able to get my prescription for the 10mg Citalopram, and started off them last night.

I also forgot to mention (given that I was shattered on the day in question) that 30th April was our 13 month anniversary, and C had to point it out to me that evening. I still count these things, but once it’s over a year, the time seems to fly by even faster.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit over the last day and a bit. It’s kind of like a repeat of how things were in 2001-2 in my life now. Then, I finished a job I’d enjoyed (aside from the management), ended up in hospital, got suicidal, new year, anti-depressants, spring and summer has some good times and some bad times. Then, in the autumn, things got really good really quickly, and I was able to build on stability in preparing to transition (which then happened in 2004). This time around, it’s almost the same, except I wasn’t suicidal. The hospital visit (this time) was very much pre-planned, and there was a positive outcome to it (rather than me getting out worse because no reason for it was found, so blame it on stress etc.) So where am I going with this? It’s because while things at the moment include some things that have to be done (i.e. moving out of my flat in Dundee, C losing weight, surgery and the rest), the really good times will (hopefully!) be coming later in the year. I can wait, calm and try and avoid stressing too much over the coming weeks. We’ve got a fair bit planned for this month, and we shall see how things pan out.

There is also my new location. Having been around the area for a bit now, it’s a large kind of step change, a bit like when I moved to London in 1999. Lots of new people and friends to see, lots of new shops, new areas and places to discover. As regular readers know, I’d like stability in my life, but I also like to do what I can, while I can. Regulars also know that I don’t just sugar-coat problems, or pretend that they do not exist, but I am genuinely happy with life at the moment. OK I’m tired or upset on occasions, and that isn’t going to pull me down too much. I want to enjoy the good times too. While they come intermittently at the moment, I am confident that I can build on things over the coming weeks and months, really settle down with C, support the conclusion of her transition, and then be there together for whatever next year throws at us. Things will straighten out, and I am looking forward to it already.

An idea from elaine4queen and other friends…


1. Was 2007 a good year for you?
It started bad, very bad… but gradually improved, like a slope up. Big jumps every quarter – like end March/early April, mid July, and mid-late October too.

2. What was your favourite moment of the year?
Falling in love with C, surgery, starting new work, and more besides. Those were the first handful.

3. What was your least favourite moment of the year?
Losing one aunt and some friends (and some friends-of-friends). Leaving without saying goodbye to a few, but that was out of my hands. Being set up a few times. Being lied to by others. Being let down by others. Those are almost all of them – it got a lot more positive towards the end of the year.

4. What are your plans for 2008?
Moving out of my flat in Dundee, helping Caroline through diet and surgery, and seeing how much I can do (whilst I still can).

5. What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, Berwick

6. What date/s in 2007 will remain etched in your memory?
31st March – the day that a lot happened, but falling in love with C was the best bit. 16th October – the day I had my surgery. Those are but two.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Coming off the antispasmodics (Oxybutynin) that I’d been taking on-and-off for six years – even if it was only accidentally coming off them in the first place. I started on anti-depressants, but got off them again without major problems (this time). On a more personal basis, lots of new places travelled to for the first time – Royston, St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, Chelmsford, Cambridge, Saffron Walden, Newmarket, Milton (Cambs), Epping, Chatteris, Ely, Peterborough, the list goes on. The mileage chart for 2007 would be quite a sight.

8. What was your biggest failure?
I initially thought I was the failure at the beginning. Glad I managed to see things in the right light soon enough.

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Depression outed itself (not for the first time), but seemed to be controlled.
Only one visit to A&E, and that was to correct an ear piercing (another first for 2007!) that had gone wrong!

10. What was the best thing you bought?
Cambridgeshire Street Atlas!
The mobile phone I got in March was also well used, C said she’s had well over a thousand texts from me!

11. Who's behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
There were a few, but mostly in the first half of the year, and I’m well over it.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Travelling, although I made a huge number of savings with promotional fares. I was travelling up to once a week between Dundee and Royston, and back again.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Discovering all the new places, and travelling around Herts, Essex & Cambridgeshire.

14. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
‘You can stand under my umbrella… ella… ella.. hey hey hey…”
Did the rain ever seem to stop in the summer?
Not the hottest, but enjoyable in other ways! (see above)

15. Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner? I look the same, but I am down about a stone
b) Happier or sadder? Happier, even though I don’t look it
c) Richer or poorer? About the same, but a lot of the pressure is off!

16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Smiling. I was often happy inside, but unable to smile for various reasons. I was happy at some critical times, which really helped.

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being negative (also see 16).

18. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my partner, and some close friends – same for NYE.

19. Which LJ users did you meet for the first time?
The list expanded from three at the start of the year, to nineteen at the end. That’s the way things went in 2007 – those who said they didn’t see me so much in 2006, saw less of me in 2007!

20. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Indeed I did, and we’re still together.

21. How many one night stands?
None, unless you count coach seats.
No, stop it!

22. What was your favourite TV show?
Ended up watching less of TV – even less than 2006, if that was possible. I did get an all-new appreciation of sci-fi, and we’ve watched most series of Stargate-SG1 at least once each.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I dislike some, but I wouldn’t say I *hate* people. Vindictiveness isn’t really my thing.

24. What was/were the best books you read?
I read a bit more than usual.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
TIP seemed to always be on my MP3 player! I’m not really into thrash, but…

26. What did you want and get?
Gender reassignment surgery and Gender Recognition Certificate.

27. What did you want and not get?
Some places where I travelled in 2006, I’d have loved to go back again. As I said above, this was balanced by lots of travel around new areas.

28. What was your favourite film this year?
I did see a lot more than I’d seen before.

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I was 28, that’s the easy bit. Spent most of it indoors, and had my head exploding.

30. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Not starting so low at the beginning of the year.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Also on a slightly upward curve too!

32. What kept you sane?
C, defiantly!

33. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
None really.

34. Which political issue stirred you the most?
The realisation that politics is going far too far into our lives.

35. Who did you miss?
Those who saw less of me (or didn’t see me at all) in 2007, were all still in my thoughts.

36. Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
No, and not that I meant to.

37. Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
A few, but like I said, I’m over it.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
Anyone can turn their life around.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
“Sometimes you can’t make it on your own…”

Well, that went so swimmingly well, I will blog all about it later on.

Many thanks to everyone who sent us kind wishes over the festive period - especially from a good percentage of the 200-odd members of the new ABF - it's all good, and it was all very touchingly appreciated!